Most reality show participants have to sign extensive waivers and agree to terms not seen since the days of indentured servitude.

Recently, the Village Voice got its hands on the 30-page contract required of the people appearing on MTV‘s long-running ‘Real World’ series and, as expected, it’s positively draconian. The extreme stipulations are probably no different than those of other reality shows, but it does make you wonder who’d be crazy enough to sign it.

Some of the Voice’s favorite highlights include:

You may be humiliated and explicitly portrayed ‘in a false light’

You don’t have STDs, but accept that other people on the show might

If you contract AIDS or other sexually transmitted diseases while filming, MTV is not responsible

The production crew can show up at your personal house at any time to film and/or to take anything they want, as long as they return the objects once production has ended

The Producer can do pretty much anything they want with your life story, including misrepresent it

You authorize the Producer to have total access to your school records, government forms, your credit history

While you’re on the show, you’re responsible for all long-distance phone charges

So, in sum: They can lie about you, touching one of your roomies could result in a communicable disease, your home is their castle, and you’ll have zero privacy. Oh, but if you want to call someone outside the bubble, it’ll be your dime because while producers can listen in and exploit whatever you say, they’re not gonna pay for the privilege, silly.

Sweet! Where do we sign up?

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