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Mountain Dew Naming Contest Becomes a ‘Mountain Don’t’

Mountain Dew's dewmed contest

To grab some more of that should-you-really-be-drinking-this market share, the makers of Mountain Dew have come up with a new green apple flavor. To promote this new flavor, they’ve been having an online contest to name it. But, it seems that someone has hijacked DubtheDew, most likely leading to extended marketing meetings at The Dew and some corporate input on name entries.

This isn’t the first time Mountain Dew has outsourced the naming of one of its beverages. But, this seems like the most doomed (or “dew”med) effort. At one point, the top choice was “Diabeetus.” We can only assume this was Wilford Brimley’s entry. Of course, the other choices were going to make it a close race. Options included:

Moist Nugget




Hitler Did Nothing Wrong

Sadly, the suits have caught on and if you access the list (which was inaccessible on Monday morning) now, you get more market-research friendly choices like “Meany Greeny” and “Applejack.” We aren’t marketing geniuses, but it seems like the Dew drinking contingent might be more likely to take a gulp of NukaCola than Meany Greeny. We will concede that probably nobody will drink DickButt, but you could do some cross-marketing with Dick Butkus.

The jury is out on who has done the hijacking in this case. Recently, the rabble-rousers, David Thorpe and Jon Hendren, at the Something Rotten site hijacked a Walmart promotion and sent the rapper Pitbull to a Walmart on Kodiak Island, Alaska. They have not claimed responsibility for doing the Dew, though. A thread on Reddit is throwing the controversial 4chan community under the Dew-y bus, but the 4chan gang says it was all concocted by Reddit. We have no idea who did it, but we love them for it.

What name would you give the new Dew?

NEXT: Guy Sets Toilet On Fire 'For God'


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