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Justin Bieber Gropes Fan at Meet and Greet

Justin Boober
@JocelynnBieber

Did Justin Bieber mistake his recent meet and greet for a meet and grope?

That certainly seems to be the case, given the photo evidence submitted by a hardcore Belieber who goes by @JocelynnBieber on Twitter — and who is now enjoying 15 minutes of web fame (as well as countless enraged tweets from fans whose mammaries have never known a pop star’s touch). But to hear Jocelynn tell it, not everything is as it seems in the picture she posted. In fact, as she initially told her followers, “IM DYING HAHAHAHHAHA IT LOOKS LIKE JUSTIN’S TOUCHING MY BOOB IN THE PICTURE AHAHAHAHHA I CANT.”

Roughly translated, that capslocked outburst means “Dear friends, please enjoy the illusion of inappropriate physical contact in this picture I took with Justin Bieber.” To be honest, we’re a little worried about the nerve endings in Jocelynn’s torso, because it certainly seems like Bieber’s giving one of her girls a little extra lift in the photo, but hey — anyone who wears that bow in public deserves to be taken at her word, so we’re chalking this up to funky shadows in the backstage area. Or something.

So how did this happen? According to Jocelynn, she wasn’t even supposed to be there; she actually sneaked into the meet and greet, a secret she shared with Bieber when it was her turn to say hello. His response, as she remembers it: “He was like ‘Aw swag! Let’s do this thing’ and we took a picture.”

But, she insists, “Aw swag” is not Bieber code for “I’m about to give new meaning to the phrase ‘B cup.’” As she tells it, “I whispered that it was my 2nd time sneaking in & he kissed me on the cheek in the picture & it looks like his hand is there.” You got that, jealous Beliebers? BACK OFF. Besides, no matter what really happened, this is probably the most mesmerizing photo we’re going to see all day. Can someone please animate it?

Next: LOL at These Justin Bieber GIFs

Watch the Justin Bieber ‘Boyfriend’ Video

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