According to Virginia Tech freshman Lance Diamond, his first week of college was ruined after he wore a pair of Rainbow brand flip-flops and a pair of Sperry boat shoes without first properly breaking the footwear in.

The large and disgusting blisters this created limited Diamond’s social interactions and prevented him from establishing himself as a “frat star,” like he had intended. So Diamond cut a YouTube video in which he threatens to sue both Rainbow and Sperry for failing to put a “must be broken in first” warning tag on their products

Despite Diamond’s constant insistence that he’s being serious in the video, it’s a little hard imagine this epically whiny rant — which includes him dropping the name of his father, an Exxon Mobil corporate lawyer and “probably the most most powerful man in the world” — isn’t at least somewhat of  a joke. Watch below:

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