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14 Jokes About Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries Getting Divorced

Kris Humphries, Kim Kardashian
Jason Merritt, Getty Images

So, has the shock of Kim Kardashian divorcing Kris Humphries after 72 days of wedded bliss worn off yet? Good thing the news broke on Halloween because we were so depressed, we needed to drown our sorrows in bucketfuls of fun size Milky Ways.

Like many a divorcee, though, we will soldier on. Let’s start the healing process with 14 jokes about Kim and Kris’ marriage.

1. This relationship ended so quickly, it’s hard to believe they didn’t meet on ‘The Bachelor.’

2. First, Reggie Bush from the NFL. Then, Kris Humphries from the NBA. Ten bucks says Kim hooks up with Alex Rodriguez next.

3. The NBA is in a lockout and Humphries just lost his meal ticket. Can someone at Home Depot throw in a good word for him?

4. Kim finally came to her senses. Who in their right mind would want to be married to someone who plays for the New Jersey Nets?

5. Kim insists you respect her privacy during this difficult time before she decides which two dozen media outlets she speaks to about how tough this has been.

6. The divorce will be featured as part of a two-night, four-hour E! special.

7. They’re not divorcing because of any infidelity. She was faithful. She had faith they could at least make it to 75 days.

8. Kris Humphries is a basketball player, so it’s safe to say he’s on the rebound.

9. They’re getting divorced? As if the protesters at Occupy Wall Street didn’t already have enough reasons to be upset.

10. Kris Humphries is having a rough year. First, he’s locked out by the NBA and then he’s locked out of Kim’s house.

11. Let’s play the Pyramid! “Getting married. Making a terrible music video. Saying, ‘I’m pretty sure no one will ever get ahold of this sex tape.’” What are questionable decisions made by Kim.

12. And you thought the Kardashian credit card was the shortest-lived venture Kim would ever be a part of.

13. Well, there goes Kim’s plans to get cast on the new season of ‘The Real Housewives.’

14. Give them credit. They did manage to last longer than Qwikster.

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